When I say so it begins, I don't mean the beginning of everything... what I mean is the beginning of the realisation of where I am right now and how I got here. The purpose of this blog is to project out what I think a lot of us go through, but for one reason or another, just never say it out loud.
The idea of acknowledging that where I am and that I came here by my decisions and choices is a damn painful one. I know, I know....all of this is my responsibility and all, but doesn't it matter why I made these decisions? Before I take responsibility for these choices, I should at least be allowed to look back and see the reasons behind by behaviour.
Regardless of what anyone says, my decisions are not always my own. I don't have the luxury of doing what I want because I live in a society where social order is maintained by the very concept that people will choose what is the best, not just for themselves, but what is the best for the majority. I'm not using this as an excuse to say that I didn't have any control because I was looking out for the best interests of everyone around me. If I'm being honest here, I actually used that theory to hide myself from changes that were scary at the time.
This space is going to explore those decisions and hopefully, help just not me, but others who are going through similar situations see a clearer picture. I am at a place now where I think I finally know what I want, but without self analysis, I know I will lose the sight of the goal. So, let's see where this goes.....
The idea of acknowledging that where I am and that I came here by my decisions and choices is a damn painful one. I know, I know....all of this is my responsibility and all, but doesn't it matter why I made these decisions? Before I take responsibility for these choices, I should at least be allowed to look back and see the reasons behind by behaviour.
Regardless of what anyone says, my decisions are not always my own. I don't have the luxury of doing what I want because I live in a society where social order is maintained by the very concept that people will choose what is the best, not just for themselves, but what is the best for the majority. I'm not using this as an excuse to say that I didn't have any control because I was looking out for the best interests of everyone around me. If I'm being honest here, I actually used that theory to hide myself from changes that were scary at the time.
This space is going to explore those decisions and hopefully, help just not me, but others who are going through similar situations see a clearer picture. I am at a place now where I think I finally know what I want, but without self analysis, I know I will lose the sight of the goal. So, let's see where this goes.....
